he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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