So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize