Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
