Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
How's work?
Spinning.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
