She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Randomize
