Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
