You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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