I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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