Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
