I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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