You're completely useless in the revolution.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
