So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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