I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
