In the future we'll all be gay
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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