i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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