My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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