party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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