I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I pour the whiskey from now on
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
