i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
