i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Couch. On fire.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I party with great urgency now.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
