i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
