There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I just gargled with NyQuil
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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