Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize