Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I got inside last night via doggy door
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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