i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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