My hand turned me down
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You smell like stripper and shame
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize