You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
