The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
