I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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