There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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