He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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