Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
