pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
No stitches, just platelets and will power
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
