I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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