I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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