There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
