Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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