Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
