Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
