He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
