So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
