Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Randomize
