I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
