I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
So much rum. So many feels.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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