Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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