the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
