you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
