how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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