i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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