i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
