Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
