We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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