i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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