Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
