Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize