Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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