Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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