We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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