Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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