guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
