So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Randomize
